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Oh why do you bother? Who are you kidding? You can’t write for children,
and you know it. Why not just admit it to yourself?
So why bother? You’ve been writing for years. Oh sure, you get those
lovely personal rejections from the editors. Your friendly critique group keeps
encouraging you and you continue to take adult education classes. But so what.
What do they know?
So why not just give up? You have so many other things you need to do. Everyday
you come up with new reasons not to sit down and work. Why not just give into
those impulses and go organize the garage or paint the kid’s room again?
Finding time is always an issue. You know you can’t work first thing
in the morning because you’re brain is still asleep. Can’t work
in the afternoon because there are too many other things that need to get done.
Can’t work late at night because by then you’re too tired.
So, I repeat, why bother?
Oh, did you think I was talking to you? No, not actually. I was talking to
myself. This is the question I ask every time I sit down in front of my laptop.
Why bother? I haven’t really got anything original to offer, and every
time I try to do something original, I’m told it won’t work.
So why do I bother? Well I’ll answer the question with the only answer
I know: because I don’t know how not to. I have to write. I need to write.
I can’t help it. If I didn’t, I’d go crazy. Hey, that might
help. Then at least I’d be a specialist.
You must feel the same way or you wouldn’t belong to SCBWI.
So, don’t give up.
If you can say that you have honestly done everything that you are supposed
to do, and I emphasis HONESTLY, then keep at it. Make sure you aren’t
lying to yourself about doing your research. Make sure you aren’t cheating
yourself. I spent a lot of money and time on “How To...” books
and classes, not to mention computer software and workshops. I convinced myself
I had done the work. Forget it.
I’m reminded of a story my rabbi told me when I was a kid. Seems this
guy was on trial for a train accident that he may have caused. His job at the
train company was to run out near the intersection of two tracks and wave his
lantern whenever a train was coming. Wave the green lantern if it was safe
to cross and the red if the engineer should stop. Simple? Yes. The attorneys
asked him had he waved his red lantern on that fateful day? His answer, yes.
So what went wrong? Well it seems they forgot to ask him the most important
question. Was your lantern lit?
The point, you ask? Was your lantern lit when you read that last YA novel
or attended that last conference? Did you go out there ready and eager to learn
or did you coast along admiring the scenery? Be honest with yourself.
Here’s the only other advice I will give. It is the same advice I give
to the new writers who come to my critique groups. READ, READ, READ. WRITE,
WRITE, WRITE. Good luck and I’ll see you on the new authors shelf.
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